"Where there's tea, there's hope."
Arthur W. Pinero
“It’s quite possible that after all this time, I think I understand it!”
This was the boost of confidence I was beginning to feel and think with my new found discovery. I convinced myself after my last blog writing; “That’s it!! All I have to do is be authentic, follow my heart, live my dream, yada, yada, yada and I will finally get my life together.”
The confidence and euphoria were all short lived, however, when the responses to my post started rolling in. I began to receive e-mails with reactions such as, “I thought you were writing about me” and “this hit home” or “I experience this too. Being yourself is very difficult.”
It’s not that I think I’m the only one who finds being authentic and living life your way a challenge, but those who responded to me are people I greatly admire and are an epitome of success and authenticity. And as if that wasn’t enough, I began to hear and read others’ stories. At a talk recently, the speaker stated that he was 64 years old and it’s been only in the past 5 years that he’s been living his life the way he wanted. And then to top that off, I read about a woman who HAD lived her life passionately and authentically for 35 years. However, because she found it such a trying and difficult way to live (I guess she thinks food, money and health insurance are important), she considered conforming to the 9 – 5 life, but she decided not to. The New York Times even highlighted a story about people who pursued their dream job, only to discover it’s not all that it’s cracked up to be. Many of those in the article are re-considering their dream and looking at other options.1
With my confidence and euphoria squelched, I was back at square one.
These stories and replies made me stop and question. “Why is it difficult for so many of us to find the courage to get over the humps and live our lives the way we want? Really, what’s so hard about living authentically and doing what we feel so deeply about doing?”
I know there are a few out there who are already doing it and a few others who find the beaten path satisfying enough. (My husband’s one of them and in many ways, I admire his happiness.) However, there’s a lot more people out there like me and I really wanted to know why it’s so tough, “WHY?”
I began to write in hopes of finding that answer as the subject of my next blog. I even spent 4 or 5 days writing about it, trying to find a…well…an answer. But nothing. Finally I gave up. “Who am I?” I thought. “This is an age old question that’s been asked for centuries. I’m certainly not going to find the answer in a self-absorbed blog post with 1,000 words or less.” So, I scratched the idea and began to write another blog.
Three days and two pages later, I finished that blog and sat it on my husband’s desk. (He’s my proofreader and critic.) Then off I went to meet a friend at a tea shop.
I’m not much of a tea drinker but I’m an explorer. Trying and visiting new places excites me and I was up for a cup of tea in a shop off the beaten path. With perfect timing, Kalee and I arrived at the inconspicuous front door of the Homegrown Herb and Tea Shop. As we stepped inside, it was like stepping into a warm and comfy outside. Tree bark and stumps are used perfectly in areas around the walls and ceiling in an aesthetically pleasing way. There’s a corner in the back of the shop with pillows and books to read at your leisure, an electric fireplace graces the middle of the room and there’s a private room for larger groups. Herbs line the window sills, sharing their space with a praying mantis or two. As you get closer to the tea bar, the smells coming from the multiple jars of herbs makes you believe you are in an ancient apothecary.
Kalee and I chose a small table for two next to a window. We look through the menu, a cloth bound 4 page scroll that contains options such as “Sniffle Tea with Sore Throat Kiss”, “The Wake Up Call”, “Jewel’s Focus Finder”, and “Holy Tea.” Kalee and I agreed that the “Holy Tea” is what we needed so we ordered a pot. I’m more of a coffee drinker and do not find tea to be very tasty, but I think it’s possible the “Holy Tea” may have converted me. It was the best steeped, natural, locally grown herbal tea I’ve EVER had. I even drank it plain….no honey, no cream. Nothing!
The two hours of conversation with Kalee went by quickly and it was time to get back to work. While paying for our soothing hot remedy, we discovered that the woman who served us our tea and ran the cash register was the proprietor. I asked her some questions and she gladly shared with us her fascinating story. This tea shop was her dream. It was such a deep calling for her that she even left her tenured job as a teacher. There were many who told her it would fail. However, five years later, she’s still serving tea and telling her story. I then shared with her, quite unexpectedly, that I was on the cusp of following my own dreams but that I was on shaky ground, uncertain how to proceed due to some challenges.
“You HAVE to read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho!” she responded before I could say anything else. She continued. “The very first thing you need to do when you leave here is read that book.” Then she briefly explained the premise of the book.
The story is a simple and fictitious tale set in Spain about a 16 year old shepherd boy who has a reoccurring dream (finding treasure in Egypt under the Pyramids.) He meets up with an old wise man who states that it’s imperative we follow our Legend (dream) and gave the boy a few pointers to help him begin. The old wise man also told the boy that he should keep an eye open for “omens” (signs) to help guide him as he travels through life. Inspired, the shepherd boy sells his sheep and leaves for his adventure to find the treasure, meeting challenges and making discoveries along the way.
The next day during a two hour break, I do as the Tea Lady recommends. I ran to the local library, borrowed the book and headed for the shore.
I chose Bug Light State Park in South Portland as my reading spot. I park the car, walk over the paved walking path and found the perfect rock to sit upon. I opened the book and began to read the second page of the introduction written by the author. I catch my breath when I read, “Whenever we do something that fills us with enthusiasm, we are following our legend. However we don’t all have the courage to confront our own dream. WHY?”
As if Paulo was speaking directly to me, he gave me the answers I was searching for. Paulo stated there are four obstacles that prevent us from living our lives authentically.
1.) First Obstacle: “We are told from childhood onward that everything we want to do is impossible.” We believe this to the point that our dream becomes invisible to us when we become adults.
2.) Second Obstacle: If we finally remember/rediscover that dream, then we face the second one: “Love. We know what we want to do, but are afraid of hurting those around us by abandoning everything in order to pursue our dream. We do not realize that those who genuinely wish us well want us to be happy and are prepared to accompany us on that journey.”
3.) Third Obstacle: “Fear of defeats we will meet on the path. We who fight for our dream suffer far more when it doesn’t work out. We do want it and know that we have staked everything on it and that the path of personal calling is no easier than any other path, except that our whole heart is in it.” Sometimes, it’s much easier to follow a beaten path than to follow our dream. But if we can get past all the many mistakes and difficulties we make along the way, we experience more euphoria and confidence. We get to live a life filled with passion.
4.) Fourth Obstacle: “The mere possibility of getting what we want fills the soul of the ordinary person with guilt.” The guilt is a result of thinking we do not deserve it because we see that others have failed at reaching their dreams. “But if you believe yourself worthy of the thing you fought so hard to get, ….then you understand why you are here.”2
When I completed reading this section of the introduction, I thought it was possible that I may have happened upon my own little omen. “I must go back to that tea shop and thank the tea lady for recommending this book,” I think to myself.
As I was thinking about the tea lady and her tea shop, I hear a quiet, quavering voice with an English tilt on the walking path behind me, “Would you like tea with that?”
Thinking maybe two people behind me were in conversation, I slowly turned around only to see one tall man, in his 80’s looking down at me with a huge smile. Still reeling from the “tea coincidence”, I was further dumbfounded as I stared at his shepherd’s staff.
“Would you like tea with that?” he said again, laughing. “You seem so peaceful sitting there, I thought perhaps you’d like to have a cup of tea?”
I laughed, we spoke briefly, chatting politely to one another as one tends to do with strangers. Within seconds, he continues on his walk, using the shepherd’s staff to brace himself.
I turned back around and watched the surf as it slapped the boulders beneath me. I haven’t read the book yet, but I’m curious now about the subject of omens and the strange ways they appear. Perhaps that’s the subject of my next blog.
If you live in the Portland, ME area, I highly recommend the Homegrown Herb and Tea Shop located at 195 Congress Street in Portland.
References:
1The New York Times, SundayStyles Section, “Maybe it’s Time for Plan C”, pages 1 and 10, Sunday, August 14, 2011.
2Coelho, Paulo. The Alchemist. p. vi – viii. 1993. HarperCollins Publishers.
