The Bridge

“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves.  The process never ends until we die.  And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

“The lucky bastard.”  That three word sentence caught my attention.  I stopped washing the dishes and walked into the living room.  I wanted to know what this man on television was talking about.  It turns out, the man being interviewed had medically died for at least 15 minutes and he was discussing his supposed near death experience being “on the other side.”  He claims that it was such a beautifully pleasant and peaceful encounter that he’s still a bit disappointed he had to come back to his life on earth.  Now, whenever he discovers that someone he knows has passed on, his initial response is, “the lucky bastard.”

Well, I haven’t had any near death experiences lately and since I’m not one to claim to know the mysteries of life and death, I’ll take this man’s experience and place it on my stack of hope that life does exist after life.

But first things first.  I wish to concentrate on this life for now.  You see, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, and usually that isn’t a good thing.  But I think “turning point” reflections happen more often when one faces certain experiences or changes.  As for me, I’m in the middle of life…..on that bridge between my youth and my elder years.  As a result, I’ve begun to think about my own mortality as midlife has made me understand more clearly the concept that my time here is limited.  And there’s nothing like a deadline (excuse the pun) that forces you to rethink how you’ve been traveling in this crazy world. 

I don’t have many regrets with my life thus far but if I must confess, I have placed a little too much effort in doing the “right” things.  I’m discovering, however, that the “right” things I’ve chosen to do were not right for me at all.  And to be honest with you, I have failed miserably trying to do the “right” things and making the “right” choices.  However, finding myself on the bridge of time has suddenly given me a bit more confidence to boldly walk forward, living life my way, instead of the “right” way.  This does require some changes in both approach and thought.  There are few tactics I’ve decided to try as I walk towards my elder years.

First, I’ve decided to say “Yes!” more often to those things that I really wish to do.  In the past, I would think my ideas seemed too crazy and a little unsafe for me to try and I would either disregard them or put them on my “to do later when I have more time, more money” list.  But no more.  If I really want to do something or have something in my life, I will find a way to make it happen.

Second, once I say “Yes”, I’m going to follow it through.  Since follow through isn’t my strong suit, I’ve asked for help in this area.  Two friends have agreed to be my “kick ass” sisters (if I don’t follow it through….they’ll kick my ass.)  One of my KA Sisters likes to wear pointy shoes, so I feel somewhat motivated in this area.

And third, I no longer have “that’s ridiculous”, “that’s too expensive”, or “that ain’t going to happen” as a part of my vocabulary.  I will, instead, replace those words with “sounds adventuresome”, “I’ll find a way” or “I’ll give it a try.”

Hopefully, by implementing these three new “tactics” into my life, I will be able to shape my life more favorably in the direction of my dreams and hopes.  And if I fail?  So what.  At least I’m giving it a try. 

There’s freedom in growing older and being aware of limited time. I feel grateful that I get this moment and opportunity to make the changes I see fit.  Not everyone gets to make it to this age, and I feel lucky that I have.  I feel even luckier that I have a chance to redo some things and live my life my way.  As the old saying goes, I truly want to be all used up and exhausted when I’m done. 

Okay…..so now what kind of fun mischief can I get myself into before I become one of those “lucky bastards?”  Hum…..anyone up for an adventure?