“Some say the glass is half empty; some say the glass is half full.  I say, “Are you going to drink that?”

--author unknown

            My friend Lori was upset and feeling aggravated.  There was horse hair plaster dust an inch thick all over her house due to the reconstruction in her living room.  To help her feel better about the current situation, I said, “But just think about the beautiful new living room you’re going to have when all of this is behind you.”

            “Whatever, Pollyanna!!” was her frustrated remark and then she proceeded to tell me to “F*%k off.”  (We love each other…really.)  Okay, so my attempt to make things better for her didn’t work out so well. 

            It’s true.  Lori’s right.  For the most part, I’ve channeled that curly golden hair girl who always sees the glass as half full.  Very rarely will you see my inner Pollyanna without her rose-colored glasses.  Playing Pollyanna’s The Glad Game with others can be irritating for some but it sure comes in handy in my life when things begin to get really challenging.  And….I can safely say that my husband and I have bounced through some very intense rough spots in the past five years.  In fact, at times, the past five years have felt like pure hell. 

            I’m certain I’m not the only one who has had a long “learning opportunity” spell.  Recently, I’ve begun to wonder…..is it possible that when they were handing out passports to life on earth, I accidently got into the wrong line and I was supposed to pick up the passport for Saturn instead?  Honestly, one plus one hasn’t equaled two for a while now…..nothing makes much sense.  For every door that has closed, that proverbial open window has been nailed shut.  Lately, when Pollyanna begins to rear her perky little head, my own level of frustration makes me kick her cheery happy-go-lucky butt as far away as possible.  I must have kicked one too many times because she’s not around so much these days.

            I suppose it’s true that whether you see the glass as half empty or half full, you still get to drink whatever is inside.  It’s the same amount, no matter how you view it.  However, life loses its sweet taste for me if I begin to lose sight of the goodness that does exist……especially during the darker moments.  Recently, the taste has become increasingly bitter.  I can’t say I’m fond of the flavor.

            So, in an attempt to sweeten things up a bit, I’ve recently forced my husband to play The Glad Game with me (although, I didn’t call it that during the “enforcement”, so that may be the reason why he’s on board.)  Every morning for the past 2 weeks while drinking coffee and before we begin our day, we think of things that we are happy about.  Some days, we’re happy that it didn’t snow (again!) or we’re happy that we get to drink warm coffee.  Laugh or roll your eyes if you wish, but nothing else has worked the past five years to turn things around.  And that’s the whole point, to turn our experience around.

            So?  Have things turned around?  Well, we’re not living in ocean front property with my writing studio facing the sea, I don’t own a BMW and I’m not visiting my favorite spot in Italy every summer.  (Oh, alright!  I’ve never been to Italy.  YET.  But I’m certain I’ll have a favorite spot when I get there.)  So no, on an external level, things haven’t changed much.  But on a subtle internal level, something drastic is happening.  I now sleep through the night because I don’t wake up with panic attacks at 2:00 a.m.  Somehow, the Glad Game has stopped me from worrying about the things I can’t control.  I laugh more.  I dream more pleasant dreams.  I have more energy.  The sweetness is returning.

            They say there are reasons that things happen as they do and that there is a learning opportunity in every challenge.  I’m not going to lie and say I understand this completely or even that I agree with it.  I am realizing, however, that it’s easy to be grateful when your plate is full……and, ironically, that’s when we seem to be less grateful.  We always seem to demand more and are never happy.  I’m discovering that there’s power in gratitude when there’s only a morsel on your plate.  There’s a feeling of courage when you can be happy even if the bank account states you may not be able to pay rent next month.  Scarcity has taught me what’s important and what doesn’t matter.  I took so much for granted when life was “easier” and I had so much more than I do now…..and yet, I was still trying to “find” happiness.  I do have my days when I see Ol’ Polly bouncing my way and it takes some effort to not smack her, but for the most part, I’m really beginning to appreciate the “real” stuff.  Things like a comfortable home, healthy food, and the people I love.  The rest?  It’s just fluff….a gift you get to have for the moment. Things come and things go but happiness can be a constant.  In fact, it is the only constant we get to have if we want it.  When this “learning opportunity” is behind me and I’ve learned my lesson completely, you can bet I will be taking the happiness I’m discovering now with me for the long haul.  You can also bet that the “fluff” I’m sure to gain back (and loose again) will not determine my happiness.  

            So….on that note, I’ll sign off.  There’s a half full glass of wine I’ve started and it’s calling my name.